Notes and Tips from the Portfolio Grading Group

Entering the Conversation and Trend Analysis
* Don't just throw out claims without support
* Are you sure?  Look at counter claims in the larger issue.
* What article(s)?  Make sure you actually discuss it.
* What is the summary of the article?
* Do not misrepresent the situation, because you have only read the one article, or part of an article
* Be careful of calling the reader ignorant
* Make the connection between the writers and article more concrete.
* Be mindful of your goal with this paper.  Regardless of the prompt the reader should understand the point - persuade, engage, inform, etc?
* Why does this matter?  Place in larger social context
* Weigh the different options and other alternatives
* Careless papers
* Include more scholarly/academic sources and much more analysis about the actual issue
* Go beyond the shallow analysis of the problem.
* Don't exaggerate the issues
* Make sure that each item in the work cited is clearly linkable to the in-text citation and information.  Same goes in the other direction.
* Check that all of your citations are correct.  Diana Hacker

Narratives
* Lack of detail. 
* Don't use empty words that mean nothing - wonderful, amazing. really, a lot, very
* Go beyond surface details, facts and insights that could be applied to many people.  Make it your story.
* Academic research could easily be included here on a more meaningful level, especially in the Essay 2
* Have more connection between the moment and you now
* Let us see the pictures - expressions on faces, details in the moment
* Dig deeper beyond the moment we see.
* Take it to a more personal space - don't just tell us things we would know readily from our own experiences
* Build the descriptive characters
* Doesn't need to be chronological
* Limit the focus
* It doesn't need to be positive
* Figure out what you can actually take from the moment, experience.  Why does the whole thing matter, now that you have some perspective.
* But don't just wrap it up like an Aesop's moral - we can grasp without being clunked on the head
* It's ok to actually acknowledge conflicting or confusing elements
* You don't need to tell us everything
* Careful of awkward shifts in time - a retrospective look could help with that
* More description
* More dialogue
* Signs of characterization from the moment to present day?
* Don't give up on the conclusions

General Comments:
* What's the connection?  What's the purpose?
* Where is this person coming from?
* Need to use signal phrases
* More is not better
* Be focused
* Sentence variety is nice.
* Articulate your goal with the piece - to inform, persuade, educate, summarize?
* Effective transitions
* Clear pronouns
* Don't be redundant
* Avoid cliches
* Pick one of the ideas you mention and really dig into that - create a strong and specific argument
* Connect all points - reverse outline?
* What are you going to say that is different, new, adding to any conversation?
* Use url in the citations when article cannot easily be found
* Have good strong sources
* Place in larger social context
* Do not over generalize
* Slow down.  Plan the order a step at a time.  Break it all down and explain it out.
* Body parts doing something - words caught in throat.
* Do not be disjointed.  Focus on clear organization.
* Do not be bland.
* Run on, comma splices
* Semi colons 
* "Little did I know..."